Why This Blog!?

Becoming a mother was the hardest thing I ever had to accept. I spent the whole day I found out I was pregnant with Tucker crying. I couldn't wrap my head or heart around the idea that my life was going to change drastically . The 9 months to follow were filled with hope and anticipation as well as denial and depression. When Tucker was born I thought all that had changed...I was in awe at this little being and was so filled with love and compassion. However that changed as time went on...I distanced myself from him and somedays I even hated having him around. I cried all the time and didn't understand how some days I could just love him up and other days hate this little being who had come to take control and was so demanding. I felt anger, and bitterness, lonliness, and sadness over how my life felt so out of control and wondered how could God do this to me. As time went on I slowly worked out those feelings and have come to accept motherhood and Tucker as a part of my life as well as a blessing. Don't get me wrong I still feel frustrated, and irritable, and impatient alot of times but their are the times that he calls me mommy and hugs me or does something silly that reminds me that it'll be ok. Their are those who Motherhood comes easily and then their are those like me who it is a challenge for everyday. My hope from this blog is to be able to share my feelings as well as connect with other mother's who may be feeling the same way or have some motherly insight we can all use. May this blog be a place to learn and grow.